Angela Onwuzoo
Imagine a world without traffic lights, work schedules or even a set time for sleep. It would be chaotic. For toddlers and preschoolers who are still navigating a world filled with new experiences, routines act as a calming compass, guiding them through the day and helping to build a sense of security and stability.
Routines provide children with structure and predictability, two elements that are critical for healthy emotional and behavioural development. When children know what to expect, they are more likely to feel safe, cooperate and develop positive habits that last into later life.
Researchers say routines encourage cooperation by making it clear who should do what, when and how often. For example, a child is more likely to wash dishes after dinner if it is part of a familiar family routine.
They also help parents plan for challenging periods, such as busy school mornings. When children know what is expected of them, they are more likely to participate willingly.
Routines built around sleep, meals and play are especially important. Well-rested children who eat nutritious food and have time to play are more likely to behave positively.
Understanding why a child behaves in a particular way is also essential. When parents recognise the underlying cause, they can respond more effectively and compassionately.
Parents can encourage adherence to routines by making them visible and engaging.
Illustrated charts, reminder cues such as music alarms, and assigning age-appropriate responsibilities all help children take ownership of routines. Praising children when they follow routines independently reinforces positive behaviour. The benefits of routines are enormous and highlighted below.
Predictability and security
Routines provide a clear framework for the day, helping children know what to expect. This predictability makes them feel safe and secure, reducing anxiety, tantrums and resistance. When children understand what comes next, they are more willing to participate and cooperate.
Improved emotional regulation
Clear routines set expectations around activities and behaviour. Knowing that a calming activity comes before bedtime, for example, helps children transition smoothly from play to rest. Over time, this consistency supports emotional regulation and self-control.
Enhanced learning and development
Routines create dedicated times for play, meals and story time. This structure allows children to focus better and gain more from each activity. Regular nap and meal schedules also support healthy physical growth and brain development.
Promotes independence
As routines become familiar, children begin to anticipate what comes next and take initiative. Knowing it is time for bed may prompt a child to choose pyjamas or tidy up toys, fostering confidence, independence and a sense of achievement.
Reduced stress for parents
Routines also benefit parents by bringing order to the day. Knowing that bath time comes before bedtime allows for better planning and smoother transitions, reducing stress and making it easier to cope with unexpected situations.
Creating effective routines
Routines should be simple and flexible, evolving as a child grows. A four-year-old, for instance, may need more playtime than a two-year-old.
Be consistent
Consistency is key. Maintaining routines as much as possible, even on weekends, helps children feel secure and minimises disruptions.
Involve your child
Giving children small choices within the routine—such as selecting between two outfits or choosing a bedtime story—builds a sense of control and encourages cooperation.
Use visual aids
Picture charts or simple visual schedules can help younger children understand the flow of the day.
Use positive reinforcement
Acknowledging success with simple praise, such as “Well done for getting ready for bed,” reinforces positive behaviour.
Dealing with disruptions
Life does not always follow a perfect schedule. Illness, travel or special events may require adjustments.
Communicate clearly
Explain changes in simple terms. Even brief explanations can reduce anxiety.
Maintain familiar elements
Where possible, keep parts of the routine intact, such as bedtime stories, even if timings change.
Be flexible and reassuring
Expect some resistance. Patience and reassurance help children adapt more easily.
Ultimately, routines are not about rigid schedules or micromanaging every moment of a child’s day. They are about providing a supportive framework that fosters security, predictability and confidence. By embracing routines, parents can create a calmer, more nurturing environment in which toddlers and preschoolers can explore, learn and grow.
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