My marriage of 16 years broke down a few years ago, and I moved into my own flat with my two children. The experience would have been fully depressing for me but I met this young lawyer, who was really nice to me. He was fresh out of the university and over 10 years younger. I was flattered by his attention and fell for him completely.
He lives with his parents but spent a lot of time with me and my kids, and my kids loved him. Then all of a sudden, things started changing, until he stopped coming to the flat. I later learnt he’s now involved with another older woman. I feel stupid for being used by him.
Rita, by e-mail.
Relationships such as you had with your toyboy, are not meant to last. This young man helped you to make the break you needed from your bad marriage and gave you the self-confidence to put your emotional life on course. But, seriously, were you expecting him to hang around forever?
Without realising it, you could have fallen for him because-you too-saw-him as a bit-on-the side! He might be much younger and wasn’t committed, but he was an ideal fling to get you through the bad times.
Although you are hurt at the moment, you must look back and smile at your affair with your young man. Now, he’s out of your life, you are free to start a long-term relationship with someone who is far more suitable for you.