Dear Bunmi, Face-to-face with my one-night stand
SOME months back, I had a drunken one-night stand with a man I got friendly with at a party.
I never saw him again until I turned up at a new job I was posted to for my Youth Service, and there he was!
Now I’m terrified he’ll tell everyone.
Diana, by e-mail.
Don’t let this bother you that much. He’s probably just as embarrassed by what happened as you, and is no doubt hoping you don’t spill the beans.
So, hold your head high and don’t let on to colleagues. If you come face to face with him, a smile and the comment ‘nice to be working with you’ should make it clear you want to keep things professional.
After a few months, when you’ve shown how good you are at your job, you’ll probably both have forgotten all about your one-night stand.
I no longer want to be a stay-at-home wife
When my husband and I wedded, I agreed to be a stay-at-home wife with our four children.
So, for the past 12 years I have been a full-time mum, which has been great. But now they’re all at school, I’m itching to go back to work.
But my husband is kicking against it. It’s true that I don’t lack, but I am a qualified lawyer and need to have a life after taking care of the kids.
Chinwe, by e-mail.
Going back to work can shake a happy family, because routines will have to change. But not going back can also disrupt a family because one person isn’t feeling fulfilled in life.
You need to consider starting with a part-time job, so you can find your feet, and your family can learn to adapt
Work with your family to draw up a plan of how you’ll do things differently, particularly if there’s a crisis.
Remember that if you work, there would be more opportunities for your kids to take-up extra responsibilities, which will help them mature emotionally and develop useful skills.
You shouldn’t try to do as much at home as you did before you worked. You’ll inevitably need to let some things slide.
Whatever you do, you need to build quality time with your family. They’ll value that even more if you’re not around all the time.