Parting ways with a loved one can be a painful affair and more often than not, letting go seems impossible.
When you do manage to move on, it becomes uncomfortable when you realise that your ex-lover has not moved on and is still “hoovering”.
While easy to confuse with sincere attempts of reconciliation, hoovering is a manipulation tactic that someone might use to suck you back into a potentially toxic relationship.
In case you are wondering if your ex is hoovering you, these are signs to look out for.
Contacting you out of the blue
A random text or call from an ex without any heads up can leave you with a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. It can be an attempt to reel you back into a toxic relationship or bring up nostalgic memories. Watch out for questions aimed at making you go down memory lane with hopes of going back there.
They might act overly apologetic about past events and try to convince you they have changed. When used as a hoovering tactic, these apologies are performative and have manipulative undertones.
Reaching out on important dates
There is a high probability your ex knows dates and holidays important to you so reaching out to you during such periods could either be sincere or another way of ensuring you answer their texts or phone calls. Calling you on a birthday or sending a congratulatory text could be a way to get you to lower your guard.
Declaring their undying love
It is no brainer that your ex still wants you if they make proclamations of love.
Showering you with gifts
We all speak different love languages and if yours happen to be receiving gifts, be wary of an ex that showers you with lavish or expensive gifts. These gestures could be a manipulative tactic meant to make you feel indebted to them.
Using other people to get to you
Beware of the hoover by proxy, which can happen when your ex plays the victim and tries to get other people to reach out to you on their behalf.